k

keeling with emotions. that's what my mind is doing right now. emotions for someone that doesn't even exist. and i really want something interesting happen to me right now. its crazy. i want to be in that rollercoaster of a relationship you know? and like last night, was a good night. and i made some promises i hope to keep. its incredible of how much i think about senior year, it's gonna be the best because i am going to make it the best. after college apps, my year is going to be insane. i'mma make it fun, imma try my best to bring happiness to all those around me. cause i love making other people feel happy. sigh, i think my ragtime is coming soon too, so i've been especially emotional and bitchy .. i need to watch it. but yea, i'm excited for this new fanfic cause it's incredibly good for the girl's heart. but anyways, I AM SUPER EXCITED. BYE.

J

JESUS PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH TO BE PATIENT WITH MY MOTHER BEFORE MY FIST SPEAKS BEFORE MY MOUTH!!!!!!!!!

i

i am truly solely alone. it is crazy how much i am backsliding away from God. and i did shit in the weekend that im NOT proud of. i have so much contempt towards myself right now it's amazing. and just listening to anything that praises Him is bringing me to tears. probably a sign from up above. "i know that You won't forsake me in my weaknesses"
kari jobe's voice is just so pure. kudos to skang for showing me this song.

listening to this makes me want to be immersed in His love again. i want to go to another retreat. sigh. feeling downnnn.

i've been totally diggin the weather, i looove the rain, the cold, the feeling of warmth. sitting at home in blankets waiting for the weather to clear up. i need to get my college shit togther. i need to do the early decison for UPENN. but i'm not so sure if i wanna go to UPENN if i don't get financial scholarship .. shit, so should i do early decision for UPENN? stress. stress. stress. and it doesn't help how my mom's been on my case about the "computer" and how it "takes up my time" when i NEED to be online for colleges. i can't wait till all my apps are in. i cant wait to go snowboarding.

i just need someone to lean on. i need a friend in Christ.

seldoot

h

honestly, i'm super worried for the now generation and how we're stooping sooo low. going to raves is now the in thing, and so many kids are learning about shit so early. wtf. i didn't even know about weed in middle school. i learned about it in high school. me and my friends were able to have fun without drinking or thinking about doing weed smell me? this is the momeny i think where Judgement day is going to come in MY generation. i hate how we have to deal with the stupid earthquake thats coming, as well as global warming. if we don't fix our pollution, Earth is gonna go into Ice Age in 50 years, and that shit ain't good. and how Earth is going into carrying capacity. and when that happens disease and famine and drought is going to be everywhere. it's so scary. but that's where God comes in and takes the people that are saved. etc.

anyways on a lighter note, i've been trying to write a personal statement. it's hard, cause i do NOT wanna write a sob story, cause the people at the admissions centers accept people that write about things that hit them face on. i wanna write something that will MOVE the admissions people not make them bored about what kind of shitty life i have. it's so hard. i was thinking of writing about my double heritage life. eh. i shall ponder about this later.

g

God, please delete this rot thats taking over my mind and take out the hate out of my body

f

focusing on studying SATs is hard when you go with a friend ... unless if you guys are reallllly wanting to study.
i love long serious talks. i love thinking about them. i love falling deep into the conversation. you're in your own world not caring if others hear you guys.
we were talking about how we really both wanted boyfriends, and how we're craving to cuddle, hold hands, affectionate pecks, you know the whole shabang. then we were talking about boy candidates of who we wanted to date. of course that's gonna stay private. sigh. life. anyways i wanna sleep at ten. i'll update on a longer one later.

toodle oodles!

e

erica is seriously in studying mode.

d

doing personal statements are so freaking hard! what they say about personal statements are so freaking true. they make you realize more about yourself. i just dug up memories that i've forgotten. things that are so old but so warm. memories that i never should've forgotten. but y'know with all this shit that happened between now and then. i understand why i've forgetten about it. and right now, i definately know forsure that i am PMSing because i just started today. hehe sorry for TMI. but yea, im digging up and reliving memories from the past. so strange. anyways i gotta go to sleep so ..

OODLES.

c

cedars is a great hospital and all, but they've GOT to get a better filing system.
-------------
all the things that are on my mind right now are:
boys
personal statement
imagination
boys
relationships
parties
college
school
calculus
SATs!!!!
boys.
mannnnn, i so miss the cuddlings and hand-holdings. i'm caught up in my past.

b

because i promised pictures, here they are;








class of 2010 yeeeuh.






she acts like she's a princess, but i still love her.






i love LA fall weather, it's the best.