listen to yourself talk and ask yourself if you're being humble. listen to yourself and then think about how it makes ME feel when you say that. you've known me long enough. do you think i'd smile and laugh whenever you tell me that? i don't like feeling this competitive feeling or jealousy. it makes me want to punch you. sure okay, you just want to share the joyous feeling of yours but it's just making me feel pissed off. knowing your personality, i don't know if you're trying to rub it in my face or if you're being genuine. but i hope you're being genuine cause if you're being a brat and rubbing it in my face, i'm not going to give you the answer that you're looking for. so here's a big FUCK YOU I DON'T GIVE A SHIT to you. oh yea, and looking at both of our situations, you should've been humble and thought about my brother and been oh, i don't deserve this. MY BROTHER IS FUCKING 22. and you get that shit for free. sometimes, i do NOT understand how you can be so fucking selfish. but then again, i don't blame you since you don't know about my family situation
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anyways, other than that, i took a long ass walk today to try to clear my mind about my family. i'm not sure whether to pity my father, love my father, or clear connections from my father. it's hard, i mean i've been living with him for 16 years and there are a lot of good memories with my father. i think it would be better for us to separate, but i can't help stop thinking about the after moments of what would happen if my dad were to live alone. i can so imagine him going crazy and committing suicide. its kinda scary ... especially how he doesn't have a stable/no income. how would he be able to support his business? from the money from selling the unit? i mean $250k isn't gonna last him forever. my mom makes a lot of money, and yet it's not sufficient to pay for everything ... that's hard. ugh, whatever. i'mma be optimistic ... hopefully. this family shit will soon drive me crazy ..