hitoride

in this struggle of life, i really feel alone. sure there are people i can lean on, but with my personality i just choose not to lean on them. it doesn't bother me either, i kind of like being alone. it kind of gives me serenity. again, i'm NOT trying to gain some kind of sympathy, just trying to organize my thoughts. like i feel like noone can understand the kind of pain that i go through or the kind of struggles i go through and i'm the only person that can help myself get better. i guess people just have different types of struggles that have different effects on them. and i really miss playing the piano, feeling my fingers press the keys and how you can control the music. it really was a way to express my feelings and i guess i didn't realize until now. it sucks how money really controls everything. no matter how much i wanna say fuck that shit, it's so important. that really irritates me. ach.

on a brighter note, there are things stressful and stressfree that are coming up. i have to work on my freaking nursing school essays, and i gotta work on my commonapp essays. UPENN and NYU are due Jan 1st of which i'm planning to finish before christmas or after christmas. definately before new years. jan 15th is UCLA and UCI nursing school and USF as well as OSU on Feb 1st. Thank goodness I have time for that but that one is the easiest. FML. lol. AND on the stress-free hand, there is the rose float decorating for KIWIN's on Dec 19. an event i'm looking very forward to and this saturday is hangout with the pokemon crew and maybe hopefully with jeany, jenny, and steph. hehe. and then the secret santa exchange. im super eggcited for that cause i wanna make pretty cards for all the streets. i'm kinda excited for this years christmas and i'm looking very forward to next year cause thats the year where i'm going to get acceptance letters from colleges and probably go travel somewhere with my friends. how excited am i!!!!

oh shoot, i still have to finish gabi's shoes and i want to start making the friendship bracelets again. i still have so much string leftover from 8th grade haha. good ol' days.



i really really really really really really really really love christina aguilera. she's been my all time favorite singer since elementary school and she never stops amazing me with her voice. soooo strong and she's been through so much. i love her. listen to it. makes me nostalgic of the older days ..

anyways, this was a sort of long blog and so i shall end it with a goodnight and a sledoot!

sledoot