okay so, here’s my deal or mostly everyone’s deal. ever since the economic recession, my family’s financial situation has gone down the drain. my mom has to work so many hours and so hard just to get our family through the expenses. and honestly most of her paycheck goes to our expenses and she doesn’t have any left over for herself to buy herself a nice handbag or a nice dress. i mean, i don’t mind not getting money, but it’s her i worry about. she’s fifty years old and she’s been working hard her whole life. and she used up all her savings to pay for all our shit. and it ticks me off because of the way i treat her and because of the way my brother and father treat her. i mean thank God for letting Him bring her under His arms, because i think without His strength she wouldn’t have been able to pull through. and one thing that gets to me is how highschool kids are wasting money like it’s nothing. for me i’d have to scrounge on a $20 bill for two weeks and i usually go by without minding if i don’t have money. but i have friends who expect me to do things with them when i don’t have jackshit to spend with them and i absolutely HATE borrowing my friends’ money. it’s embarrassing first of all, and second it’s a pain to pay that shit back. i guess you can say i am jealous of those kids but you know, i can’t help it because they have this financial abundance and i don’t. and i don’t get the luxury of going to chipotle everyday after school or going shopping with my friends. i can barely even buy a bus pass. shit. anyways, i am going to stop self-pitying myself and suck it up and deal with it. i mean, i’ve been handling it for nine years, i can handle a couple more years of this financial problem. you know what they say, no pain no gain. and now i’m thinking of changing my career path into becoming a nurse practitioner. ill do a double major or something. now i am going to apply to UCLA. well, gotta start contemplating about my future and what to do. fun.